Can't Orgasm with your partner? Feeling pressured to orgasm? Here's the problem...
Too Distracted to Orgasm?
A ringing iPhone, a roommate barge-in, a Girl Scout at the door—plenty of things can derail your O train on its way into the station. But "losing it doesn't mean it's gone," says psychiatrist Gail Saltz, M.D, author ofThe Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life. "It means you've reached a plateau, but taking the time for rearousal can still get you there." Give yourself a break for anywhere from two to 20 minutes, then start over from a lower level of arousal, says sex educator Dorian Solot, coauthor ofI Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide. Then...
Show Him Some Love
It sounds counterintuitive, but try shifting the focus and turning your attention to your partner. Seeing him get aroused might help you get hot and bothered again, says Solot.
Try a Little Tenderness
Taking some time to cuddle can take off the pressure for a big finish, while priming you to reach your peak in due time.
Sprinkle in Fantasy Talk
Women tend to worry that their guy "gets bored" if they "take too long," and these thoughts can further dampen the chances of experiencing an O, says Saltz. "Introduce some fantasy talk while continuing stimulation, and clue your guy in to what you're doing, letting him know that this is helping you get there," she says. He'll likely provide feedback that he is not, in fact, bored and is more than happy to continue.
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